If you don’t know who Rachel Hollis is, you were probably living under a rock during her reign from 2015 to 2020ish. This woman was EVERYWHERE.

She was featured on morning television shows, podcasts, motivational speaking tours, women’s conferences, Facebook Live chats that reached hundreds of thousands, and–well, you get the point. Alas, she’s best known for her New York Times bestselling self-help books Girl, Wash Your Face & Girl, Stop Apologizing. 

Her followers (myself included) were genuinely inspired by all she had achieved in such a short amount of time. Here was a woman who was living proof that dreams do come true, that you can have a successful business and an “exceptional marriage” if only we worked hard enough. 

I listened to every podcast and devoured all the nuggets from her blog and book(s). Hell, I even went to one of her book signings at an Evereve store just to hear her speak and be around other fangirls. 

It was a MOMENT. 

It was a VIBE.

It was a TIMEEEE!

2018 was one of the best years of my career, and I can honestly say Rachel Hollis deserves some credit for that. 

The years ticked by, and her RISE conference became bigger–giving way to an even larger company with an exclusive journal line (one of her lines even launched in Target! squee!), a spinoff marriage podcast (Rise Together), and a special Rise Together Marriage conference. 

2020 came, and…Enough said. 

While we were all trying to figure out this new world, Rachel was giving us advice on how she was navigating things, sharing her tips (with her husband Dave) on how they were keeping their marriage “spicy,” and…

Suddenly, there was a divorce announcement. 

No, really. 

That’s not a joke. 

They announced their divorce via social media channels with a happy/smiley picture with different captions…

On one of these captions, there was a line that said they’d been struggling for the past three years.

People felt FURIOUS, CONFUSED, and BETRAYED. (Hi. I am one of those people. The people are me 🙂 )

Like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait. a. MINUTE….

So, during all the live Facebook “we’re so happy,” “this is how we’re handling things,” and “We love each other sooo much now that we work together” videos, there were cracks? Y’all turned off the camera and went to separate sides of the house? Y’all were giving out relationship advice to vulnerable people (who believed in you) when you were having divorce-worthy issues of your own?

I had to triple-check the date on the post because I thought to myself, “SURELY, this is a late April Fool’s prank.” 

*refresh*

*refresh*

Oh, it’s still there. 

This is happening.

I didn’t care about the actual divorce; things fall apart, huge empires crumble, etc.

What took me aback was the fact that mere weeks ago, she and Dave** (may he rest in peace) were posting videos and writing captions about how “GREAT” things were between them. 

There were no cracks, no random honest moments of “Ugh. Being in a long-term relationship is so damn ROUGH,” or even a hint of “I hate the way [he] breathes sometimes. I just want to suffocate him with his pillow.”

Nada. 

I just felt lied to…

Now, perhaps they believed they had an exceptional marriage. Maybe they thought that the more they said it, then one day it would become true.

That’s not the point of this story, though.

As the months flew by, the fallout from this announcement continued (along with other minor scandals), but “our pal Rach” carried on, determined to pick up the pieces and host her next RISE conference. 

And then in 2021 there was this post, which IS the point of this blog post…

This (sadly) infamous TikTok…

Now…

Was this video cringe?

Yes. 

Was it better left in the drafts? Absolutely. 

Was it worth her fellow “We can do it all”/girlboss industry friends abandoning her when she needed them most?

No. 

No. 

NO…

But they did. 

PUBLICLY. 

They pulled out of her conference, commented to their followers about how “disappointed” they were in her, and made it clear they were “nothing like” Rachel. 

I was once again CONFUSED.

All the times you’ve been guests on each other’s podcasts, all the times you’ve shared stages at conferences, and…you leave her out to dry?

She was still dealing with the fallout from the divorce, the disappointment from her fans, and the trolling of haters who’d anticipated her downfall for years, and as her “friend,” you just piled on?

You didn’t consider throwing her a lifeline and saying, “Please don’t judge my friend by this moment. She’s having a rough year. Can’t wait to hug her onstage when I see her at the RISE conference!”

(I mean, you could also call and curse her out behind the scenes + ask her what the hell she’s thinking with this over-the-top reaction, but shaming her online with everyone else is a pretty interesting (interesting = terrible) choice… Even if you aren’t real friends and just industry pals, can’t you take a second to consider how you would feel if you made a mistake? How you would feel if everyone turned on you? Wouldn’t you want someone to have your back?)

Okay, enough random. 

Back to work, 

Whit

**Dave Hollis passed away on February 11, 2023.